June 15, 2015

Following the Piper

It's been a long while since I had an encounter like yesterday's. I was so busy for a long time, with the restaurant, with school before that. And then after the restaurant, I was so depressed that I turned away from things for a long time. I've been getting back to it in fits and starts, but it's been hard to really settle in. Yesterday tells me I'm making good progress. I'm seeing the things I ought to again. The guideposts are coming clear.

There are encounters that anyone might have, and there are encounters that only those trained in spiritual and magical technologies can have. Yesterday was one of the former. Anybody could have gone and talked to that guy. Not just anybody would have recognized it, though. I did, which is good, because I damned well ought to be able to. But better, I chose to go and have it. After turning away from things for too long, I looked out the window and saw him. I hollered a compliment. And then, finally, I got dressed, and I actually left the house and went out there and spoke to him. Listened to him play. Petted his dog. Talked a while. I did something. I chose, actively, after being passive for too long. I reached up out of the morass of depression and caught hold of a big thing, and pulled myself up to take a deep breath of fresh air.

I need to become more active, to start making choices again. Hekatean as well as Dionysian. Pick my own road, and walk it. Time to find something new, and start it.

I did a tarot reading before bed, Beth Maiden's Begin now, with what you have spread, just to get a sense of where I was starting from. An important thing to know before setting out. I got some interesting results. The Sun as my goal. The Wheel and The World in my base. The Page of Pentacles, my favorite significator many years ago when I started reading, in my beginnings. Promising.

I think my next reading should be with the Daughters of the Moon. It's always been a very dream-and-vision sort of deck, feeding me images to watch for, touchstones, signposts along the road, rather than concrete instructions, the way the Mythic or the Visconti-Sforza do. Possibly time to do some dreaming as well. Soon.